I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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