Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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