we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
