areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I am one with the molecules
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
