Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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