Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
