you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
