I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
