You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
