Princesses don't give blow jobs
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
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who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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