Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
