Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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