well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
