hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
