dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
