two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
