okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
