I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I think my moral compass just broke
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