Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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