It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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