Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
