Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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