the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
