I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My dick has a subreddit
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
