Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
