Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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