I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
