I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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