the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
