I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
