Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My bed smells like the plague
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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