I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize