I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
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