i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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