She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
