My brain says no but my pants say off.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Couch. On fire.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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