he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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