Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize