i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
