Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
