Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
