Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
