would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
