Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
There r osticjed everywhere
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Randomize
