its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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