is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
