I wish my penis had an off switch
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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