I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
