Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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