Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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