sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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