kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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