I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Randomize
