Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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