haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize