What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
