ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
