i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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