my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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