quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
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