I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
