You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
